I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
