Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
