tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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