He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
