therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I need to stop coming to work sober
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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