Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
