so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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