You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
