honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize