Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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