Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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