Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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