Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
