My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
