He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
