I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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