I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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