it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We need to get me chipped asap
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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