i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
