another moral hangover. fuck.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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