I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
