apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
