So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
