I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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