Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
