Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
