i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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