this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
