Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
