I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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