You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
