Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
