i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
