She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
