They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
