You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize