I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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