I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
