do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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