I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
