Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Fuck appropriateness.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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