the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
