if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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