HIV tests are more positive than that guy
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize