Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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