Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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