Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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