Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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