can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
