my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
