$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
