i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
