yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
