I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
