rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
