you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
