im drinking this country out of the recession.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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